my dog’s thoughts this morning

Oh, she moved. I think she’s waking up.

Light! It’s another day! Oh, I’m so happy! Gotta go wash her face! With my tongue! She loves it! It helps her wake up! I’m such a good dog.

Down the stairs, down the stairs, down the stairs – do you see how fast I am?! I’m the fastest dog in this house! I’m great! Open the door!

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, there’s the other one! The one that cuddles me! Oh, there she is! There she is! Gotta jump up and try and lick her face as well! No, gotta curl up in a ball on her feet! No, I got it: throw myself on my back and present her my belly for scratching!!! Yes, what a great idea!

Oh, the other one’s in the kitchen! Food!!!

No food. She’s opened that place where they hide their human food. I never get anything from in there. Maybe if I stare into my bowl? Stare. Stare. Oh, this is boring, better go right up to her and sit down and beg. Yes, that’s it! Oh no, she’s only scratching my ears. Oh, nice spot. Yes, perfect spot! Yes, scratch harder! Right there! I’m going to help you! Watch this. Look, I can do it with my hind foot! Look at me! Look at me!

Oh my gosh, now the other one is in the kitchen as well! I’m right in the middle! I love it when the whole pack is close together like this! Maybe they’ll feed me now!!!

Oh, they’re talking about me, I heard my name! I wish they weren’t talking so fast. Something about… FOOD!!!

Oh no, someone walking past the house! Better run to the window and bark at them. Oh, now my pack is angry. How strange. My job is important! Gotta defend our territory! It’s what dogs do! Get out of that street, you! There’d be people running all over our street if I didn’t pay attention. Better bark again, just to be sure. Alright, alright, I’ll stop, if they absolutely insist, then I won’t… FOOD!!!

False alarm again. I’m so unhappy.

OH MY GOD WE’RE GOING OUT!!! Finally! Finally! She said it! We’re going for a walk!!! This is it!!! Gotta try and lick her face!!! No, come back, let me lick your face! Oh, I know! I’m gonna jump up at you! Here we go!! Yes, what a wonderful idea!!!

Alright, I’ll wait right here on the steps, okay? Can you see me? Here I am! Just waiting for you to get ready. Now she’s gotta put on extra paws and extra fur – humans are strange sometimes. I’ll best sit still and wait… wait…. OH! She’s ready! Yes, I’ll show you the door! Here it is! It’s a door! You open it and we go out! YES! You made it! It’s open! Oh, you’re so clever!!!

Wait, what’s that? Oh, that funny thing they put around my neck. It makes a strange noise when they put it on. Like a click. I don’t like the noise. Why do they do that? Oh, the LEASH!!! Oh my god, oh my god, the leash!!! I LOVE the leash!!! Oh, there it is! Yes! I’m going to carry it myself. In my mouth. So I can chew on it. Hm. Leash. I’m so HAPPY!!!

Oh, better concentrate now. Wearing the leash is a job. I gotta defend my human. It’s a big responsibility! I gotta huff at everyone who gets too close. Warn them off. Yes, that means you as well!!! Out of the way!!! Oh, now she’s taking the leash off!!! That means she doesn’t need my protection anymore – let’s run!!! Come on!!!

Nobby running

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About wordsurfer

writer, ex-teacher, human rights believer & fighter, traveller, adventure-seeker, freedom lover, global citizen. big on daydreams, less so on reality.

Posted on March 5, 2013, in day-to-day and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. i am still laughing…..it is very probably EXACTLY what he thinks

  2. Miles is the same way. He loves to clean his toes before getting out of bed. Sometimes he exhausts himself doing this and falls back asleep.

  3. Really good one Antje! Enjoyed it a lot! Hugs.

    Saludos,

    MARIO

  4. My daughter has a basset/beagle, and just yesterday we chatted about her hound, and so much of our conversation sounded just like this! :)

  5. Haha, your dog sounds like a bundle of delight. For some reason, I couldn’t help but thinking how ominous (and different) a cat’s thoughts would be while reading this. Probably something related to world domination.

    • :) Definitely related to world domination. I don’t think you can spend that much energy on loving your humans while you’re plotting to take over the world at the same time.
      I’ve never had cats, otherwise I’d be tempted to listen in to some cat thoughts – I’m sure you’re right, they might be quite ominous! :)

  6. I love this. What a fun point of view. Very clever

    • Thank you! I find that pets communicate quite clearly – our dog’s thoughts are very transparent. Right now, he’s curled up on his blanket next to my desk and sighing from time to time. I’m sure he deplores my wasting time with the computer when I could be so much more productively employed in cuddling him. ;)

  7. 최다해 gongjumonica

    Very interesting post! I didn’t know you could read your dog’s mind…or channel the mind. Haha whatever :)

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