sick & nervous
Okay, so I was really looking forward to ‘publishing’ my project in the last days. I’ve been working hard on it and put a lot of time and effort into it. I also had a lot of fun creating it! Now it’s more or less finished (just putting on the last touches right now) and the thought of actually putting it out there for people to see… makes me completely sick!
I’m absolutely nervous about it: sweaty hands, upset stomach, racing heart – the full package. At the same time, I know that I have to do this. ‘Have to’ because I put too much into it. ‘Have to’ because I really, really want to take this step. And ‘have to’ because I will never, ever forgive myself if I don’t.
The problem is that if publish it tonight, I will not be able to see people for at least 48 hours, because I’ll be sitting in a corner of my room, with locked doors and locked windows, quivering with nerves and biting my fingernails, staring at the computer screen in hypnotized fear. Damn it. I’m not looking forward to that.
If I will do it, and you read this later on, please keep in mind that while I very much do want feedback, and honest feedback, I will also be reading your comments while feeling extremely sick, so please be gentle.