struggling

I’m fighting with myself.

On the one hand, I’m making progress. On the other, a lot of things are falling through the cracks.

I’m neglecting friends – not answering e-mails in a reasonable time frame, not calling. I hardly read any fiction at all. I’m struggling to keep my blog halfway alive and to read my friends’ blogs. All this is bad, because I love my friends, I don’t ever not read and I love my blog and the connections into the real world and the world of blogging it is bringing me.

On the other hand, I have, for the first time in a long, long time (roughly two years) a kind of plan of what I’m doing. I’m organized about my writing, I have a plan, a real plan, with different steps and goals and dates when these goals need to be reached. I also have a plan for “surviving” or “becoming independent” – meaning, how to survive financially. I’m building connections and I have a goal that I’m working towards. And these things are good. I feel focused and like I know what I’m doing – which has not been the case for …. oh, such a long, long time…

So – what’s right or wrong? How to find a balance? I don’t know. I’m putting it out there. Maybe someone else has an idea of how to do this thing called life. Anyone?

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About wordsurfer

writer, ex-teacher, human rights believer & fighter, traveller, adventure-seeker, freedom lover, global citizen. big on daydreams, less so on reality.

Posted on May 20, 2013, in day-to-day and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Aww, well it’s great that you have a plan! Hopefully you can achieve all those goals and deadlines. =D
    As for life, I maintain that each baby needs to be born with a manual. Seriously. It would make everything so much easier if we had a manual to rely on. 😉

  2. free penny press

    I suffer too with trying to find a balance of my real-world responsibilities and the blogging world. My posts have gone from 5 a week to 2..there just does not seem to be enough time for everything..
    You do what feels right for your life and whenever you do blog, know your friends are here.
    🙂

  3. Balance definitely isn’t an easy thing, and worse, you never stop working on it. That said, in my experience, the initial steps of launching any plan are a bit chaotic as you adjust to the new situation. I’m not sure what to suggest, other than taking a little bit of each thing every day and try not to worry about keeping up with everything. It’s hard to do and the frustration you can cause yourself when you worry too much about it can do more harm than good.

    You’ll get through this though, I’m sure of it. *hugs*

  4. I wish you luck finding the right balance. I know I haven’t figured it out myself. If you do solve the mystery, please share.

  5. Like everyone has said, balance is not an easy thing, but the good news is that you have a plan. I think balance needs to be in our minds constantly. It is easy getting sidetracked, spending way to much time on your work, or the other way around. Sometimes, what works for me is talking to myself!! LOL!! Literally!

    I remind myself that every step I take towards my dream or goal, the closer I get, no matter how small it seems. However, I also try to be aware of how much time I spend on each of the things I need to do. And lately, I limit some of the things on my list and give priority to others, but with that in mind, I accomplish much more. Even, having fun and sharing quality times with the people I love, without feeling guilty. I had to cut back on the blog. I only write articles a couple of times a month and post my new paintings a few times per week. Reading all the blogs is impossible, so I do my best to log in once a day in the afternoon and spend no more than 15 min. It is hard, but there is no way we could do it all.

    I wish you the best and for your mind to clear up, so you could choose what works for you. 😀

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