my brain on obsession

I try to avoid obsessions. They’re dangerous.

There are many things I can become obsessed about – books, characters, whole story worlds, movies, causes, people in need, new ideas, adventures, injustices – sometimes even friends. Practically anything invested with any kind of emotion has the potential to turn me from this…

… to this …

– a single-minded, driven, compulsive, zombie-esque being. It’s ugly. It’s raw. It’s dangerous for anyone who gets in the way. It’s a hostile takeover. I have no say in anything concerning my life while in the grip of an obsession. Much easier to not let it happen in the first place.

It’s very inconvenient that I’ve been taken over by one just before Christmas. It’ll interfere. It already is.

Downton Abbey has arrived in German TV and they showed the whole first season on one weekend (that’s seven episodes). And because I have an imagination that runs on 500 km/h at the least encouragement, I’ve already spent one whole night dreaming about it, a whole day having imaginary talks with the characters, worrying about their future, their well-being, their happiness and being as nervous as before a date for all of today and now, after having watched the last two episodes tonight, I fear that the next night full of detailed, long and in-depth dreams is just ahead.

Shouldn’t I be writing about Christmas? Traditions, food, family, how lovely everything is and how wonderful our dog smells now that we’ve washed off all the layers of dried-on mud with camomile baby shampoo? Probably. Maybe. I guess. Whatever.

But I just really, really, REALLY *need* to know that Anna and Bates will turn out happy!!! (Don’t anybody dare tell me! No spoilers! 🙂 )

…

… it’s just so very exhausting, carrying a full cast of people in my mind and heart over whose fates I have no influence whatsoever…

…

P.S.: If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I encourage you to watch this show.

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